Bringing Chivalry to a Hoe Fight

"Muh Principles" won't save your relationship in 2022.

“The desert?” I said, and he shook his head no. “The Arctic?” Again, he shook his head no. “The jungle? The mountains?” “Nope,” he said. The fire was crackling, and the stars were out. Anyone who has been on a hunting trip knows that some of the most interesting conversations you will ever have are with hunters around the fire under the stars. We were on the Tanzania/Kenya border hunting plains game. I was a young teenager at the time. Our guide, professional hunter Mike Fell, had asked me a question: “Where is the most difficult place on Earth to survive?” While thinking of an answer, I considered lack of resources and harsh weather. Mike’s answer was: “The Ocean.” Strange answer, I thought — you won’t freeze to death, and there is plenty of food.

He would go on to explain that the hardest part of survival is the will to live. While you won’t freeze to death, you are at the mercy of the sun and clouds above you. While there are millions upon millions of fish in the sea, you are at their mercy, too, waiting for them to approach your raft so that you can catch them. While you won’t have to waste energy walking back to civilization, you are also at the mercy of the tides and currents to take you to civilization or an island. And most importantly, there is water as far as the eye can see, but you can’t drink ANY of it. This would all drive any man insane.

That line about “endless water, but you can’t drink any of it” always stuck with me. Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been engaging in Twitter back-and-forths with people in our circles who come from a more traditional perspective on marriage and dating. It’s no secret that many are not fond of my lifestyle choices and how I address the hellscape that is the modern dating marketplace. “RedHawk, you need to repent and find Jesus.” “RedHawk, you are leading women astray and contributing to the problem.” “RedHawk, pickup is gay, and without marriage you are treating sex just like a homosexual does.” These critiques and others miss the mark, in my opinion. They come from another time, an outdated 20th century way of thinking. The game has changed and continues to change, and not in the direction I or others on the Dissident Right are in favor of.

Women’s standards continue to increase into absurdity, gynocentrism remains the dominant ideology in the West, and men continue to feel lost and check out of the game altogether. Birth rates are dropping, marriage rates are dropping, and divorce rates are increasing. I’m not saying this to be black-pilled; I’m merely stating the facts on the ground. I think that the major disagreements between myself and others are the “is versus ought” argument and tactics. We all want the same things: strong communities and families and a return to traditional gender roles. Unfortunately, that IS NOT the world in which we live. Modern women, through their own attributes and the risk from state laws, have made marriage and traditional navigation of the sexual marketplace NOT ON THE MENU. Modern women are the ocean of water from which you cannot drink.

I’m not saying this to be edgy or as a joke. This is not funny. Marriage has become too risky in the West. Men can’t risk our livelihoods because we are horny or “need to do the right thing,” when there is a 1-in-2 chance of you getting divorced — 8 out of 10 times the proceedings would be initiated by your wife. People in our circles can talk all they want about traditional marriage while claiming that “real men marry” and “pickup is gay,” but the reality doesn’t change. A common issue that I see the among the Christian types is that to be a man means “to sacrifice, suffer, and put other’s needs before one’s own.” Indeed, there are some parts of that with which I agree, but more often than not, I see this used as a club and cope targeted against other men by those who have needlessly complicated their own lives. Your woman is withholding sex: “It’s just what happens, bro. Live with it.” I want to commit to her, but we aren’t getting married: “What? You scared, bro? Stop being a boy, and become a man.” These are copes for making necessity a virtue. Is a man less of a man if he takes steps to ensure that his wife doesn’t withhold sex or that he protects his finances? Men do not exist solely to suffer for other people. We have wants and needs just like anyone else, but any time that point is made, you can always count on the “Stop complaining, and man up, bro!” crowd to make their asinine comments.

I do not hate marriage. I think that it is the foundation of what once made the West so strong. You can look at the Islamic world where polygamy is far more common, and you will notice that the societies are not as stable. Men need sex — it is a biological necessity — and if they can’t get it, they become despondent and develop very itchy trigger fingers. Whether people like it or not, our society is heading for polygamy. The incentives aren’t going away, and poly has already been growing over the past few years. Whether it’s a bunch of soy boy cucks who are in a poly relationship with one woman, or a Chad alpha guy who spins plates indefinitely, this is the future until the incentives change: a post-marriage world. I would love nothing more than to find a quality woman with whom to raise a family of loving children. I love kids — growing up as the oldest of 20 cousins will do that to you — and I dream of teaching my sons how to hunt and how to fight, and of imparting wisdom upon them. But I’m smart enough to know that what I want has ZERO effect on the world at large. Like it or not, the world still turns.

This brings us to the question of tactics. The days of going to the local diner or church to find an attractive, kind, loving, feminine virgin are over, and they aren’t coming back anytime soon. Most people meet online now, as hellish as it is, and this gives women an ego boost and a feedback loop resulting in their increasingly absurd standards. This paradox of choice results in a feast for a small portion of men and a famine for the rest. This results in the majority of women in the West being tossed aside, because they have not been taught how to keep and please a man and, as such, have been turned into noncompliant, bossy, jaded whores who can offer nothing in a relationship other than their sexuality. Do not take this as an excuse to go engage in blatant misogyny, it does not serve you in any way to hate women. Many men, upon examining the divorce statistics and the dismal selection of women available to them, choose to go their own way and check out. While their diagnosis of the problem is correct, I disagree with their solutions. Atlas asked not for a lighter load, but for stronger shoulders. You can watch my Lambster stream in which Lambda and I talked about actionable advice for guys and how you can better yourself.

My only commandment for men is that they should be Red Pill-aware. It is up to you to use that information in service of whatever vision for your life you may have. If that means spinning plates indefinitely, or going MGTOW, or blindly getting married, or my approach — continuing to spin plates until I find a worthy woman to settle down with — the choice is yours as a man, and nobody else is going to make it for you. Treating the current game this same as it was 100, 60, or even 20 years ago will only net you a 29-year-old used-up chick who is noncompliant, infertile, and can’t even cook. Worse still is that gynocentrism is so ubiquitous within our society that the media will tell you to wife up these women and “man up,” and your church will tell you to forgive these women and welcome them back into the fold. In a gynocentric social order, men only exist to support women’s mating strategy, and any standards of our own are met with calls of “misogyny” and “toxic masculinity.”

In this day and age, using old order ways of thinking to navigate the dating marketplace is the same argument as “muh principles” when fighting the Left. Those principles of being the chivalric man will ruin your life. It’s from a different time, back when men had authority to go along with their responsibility, and women were of a different caliber. As admirable as they are, your principles will neither give you the white picket fence with 2.5 kids nor stop the Left from wanting to transition your kids. Until the incentives change, you, as a man, must be Red Pill-aware. The whole menu of life is available to you, and women can play any role in that that you choose. Maybe we’ll get lucky, and the next generation of women will see the failures of the feminist spinsters before them and return to some kind of tradition, but I’m not holding my breath. Enjoy the decline as best you can, and be the best man you can be. If a good woman comes along, rejoice in that, but do not trust to hope — it has forsaken these lands.